That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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