office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
