the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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