Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
