My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
