Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She even gives head with a lisp.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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