dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
