Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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