so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
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I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
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Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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