ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
