YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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