well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
