I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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