just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize