You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
