Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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