it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
