Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
