Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
