Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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