Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
false alarm. still invincible.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
