I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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