Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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