It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
