If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
