But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
