Moan for me like Helen Keller
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
