I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
