when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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