guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
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He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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