Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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