you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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