also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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