I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
