I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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