at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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