Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
