A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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