omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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