remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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