Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
