all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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