Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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