i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she told me i tasted like america
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm bleeding and have questions
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
