You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
