Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
