So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
