margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
