that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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