Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
