So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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