he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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