You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
