but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
