she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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