Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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