What a fucking waste of an outfit
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
