Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Randomize
