You made me cry and you don't even care
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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