You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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