Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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