I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
