And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
