i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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