Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize