now i know why i became what i already was.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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